adventures of the mighty crutch-hopper!!!

2007-01-12T08:19:00.000-08:00

just popped over to this old thingy to look thru posts and i think i have grown up in certain ways. haha anw. im gonna shift to a new blog cos its a new year.

http://rippythegatorwent.blogspot.com

2006-07-16T01:03:00.000-07:00

so coldplay came down the other day and according to people who went for it, like abel, it was pretty dam good. oh well, no regrets whatsoever, considering i only like a handful of coldplay songs, and i cant really consider myself a fan of the band. oh btw i hate "speed of sound".but ppl who love it please dun take it to heart. the song doesnt suck, its just really not my type. my type is more the 'steps', 's club 7', 'a1', '911' kind. yup. im still a 10-year-old at heart in that way.

anyway, abel was telling me about how good chris martin was and how great the concert was as a whole. i vaguely remember abel telling me chris martin sang some song with his head hanging off the stage and the people could actually touch his face, which is pretty cool in my opinion. of course, if i knew in advance madonna would do the same while singing "hung up", i would get tickets and go down and give her a good hard slap for singing the damn song.

anyway, when abel was recounting how good coldplay was, he suddenly started humming and half-singing some coldplay song, and somehow I thought of "in my place", which is actually one of the songs i like. the mischievous, childish, retarded side of me emerged and i decided to change the lyrics. and i came up with this masterpiece, entitled "In My Pants"

In My Pants

In my pants, in my pants,
I had a million ants,
And it was itchy.
I will scratch, I will scratch,
But my fingers were no match,
For the crawling ants.

Yeah...I think I killed two or three,
Yeah...maybe soon I will be free,
Yeah...but there are just too many, too many.

oh well. unfortunately i cant make a career out of this, cos noone wud pay money for this shit. anyway, roland then had a moment of pure inspiration, which served as a springboard for our second version of "in my place", this time entitled "in my face". unfortunately, it's so graphic and sick i shall not be posting it here, even though its dam good. if u want, u can ask me/roland about it. and we were at it for the rest of the day, thinking up a few songs and dedicating them to our dear jovian, even though he didnt appreciate it at all and chucked our lyrics-sheet down some wastepaper basket. ingrate.

anyway friday saw our class getting our class photo. good news: everyone besides me looked kinda good in it. bad news: my eyes were closed, and i was frowning. for some strange reason. i look really retarded in it and i swear i did not do that on purpose! it looks freeking stupid and i wished i cud turn back time to smile properly and maybe also conveniently put more money on italy to win the world cup.

oh and i just realised. j2 photos are like printed in colour in the yearbook. HMM. and its gonna show me closing my eyes and frowning. bad.

and i got c for math, d for hist, and e for econs so far. pretty bad too. hope my lit fares better. although im kinda pleasantly surprised by my math grade. anw im pretty surprised by this quiz thingy i took. im 19 years old, when id fully expected to fall under the 10-13 age range, considering my music taste, terribly optimistic outlook on life, maturity level and many other factors. so to everyone who calls me childish...a big fat HA! im not freekin childish..im not freekin childish...haha

You Are 19 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

2006-07-08T07:11:00.000-07:00

so cts are over. which is good. and results are coming back slowly. which is good too. (at least its not coming back quickly, that would be bad.)

pretty dismal so far. 25/50 for sea history. and 10/20 for econs mcq. and not too high hopes for the rest of the papers. but strangely enough, its the first time i have high hopes for lit.

however. why should i dwell on that when the biggest event of the year is barely a day away? its italy vs france and here's what i think will happen...

general prediction: italy to win in normal time by 1/2 goals.

more detailed and possibly rather bullshit prediction:
the game will get off to a cagey start with both sides not daring to commit more men upfront. however, italy will profit from a corner/free kick which will be headed in by some tall italian. france will respond by pouring men forward. henry will receive a good through-ball from zidane/vieira and will fall in the box after being tripped by an italian defender (likely to be materrazzi), but the referee will not give the penalty, leaving henry to whine on the turf. in the second half, italy will defend desperately, cannavaro being at his imperious best once again to thwart france's attacks time and again, and when france realise that time is running out, they will send plenty of men forward, leaving holes at the back, which will allow pirlo to pick out a teammate to roam forward unchallenged and score (much like the second goals against the czech republic and germany)

anyway i hope italy win, but i wud not be pissed if the french won. both teams deserve to be in here, and they do not have bastards like cristiano ronaldo, so that's good.

oh and my friend invited me to some basketball court in yew tee to play soccer with his friends tmr. he describes them as being physical. "like to use elbow" and "xiao lang" phrases used to describe them. i hope i dun regret agreeing to go down tmr. keeping my fingers crossed..

2006-06-09T17:41:00.000-07:00

okinawa travels part 1

so touchdown in osaka to catch a connecting flight to okinawa and thats where the trouble started. i developed a sudden high fever, runny nose, and bad cough. diarrhoea would come along later.

so the first day in okinawa i didnt do much actually, lay in bed with icepacks all over me trying to bring my temperature down from the 40.7 on the thermometer.so i just slept and slept and slept till it was dinner and i forced some tempura soba into my mouth and some medicine before plonk! back to sleep.

interestingly though, the medicine i took tasted quite good. no kidding. it was like panadol. but sugar-coated panadol. a pretty good idea actually. especially for kids, or whiny teenagers like me.

the temperature eventually came down and now my temperature is a much safer 37.8. and my appetite's back to normal, so all's good. went to the supermarket and bought lotsa cups of instant noodles. tonkotsu ramen, tan-tan men, supa-spicy ramen, niku udon...the list goes on. a total of 11 cups i bought. and i've already finished 3 cos when i regained my appetite i realised i was really hungry.

another interesting thing about japan. their toiletbowls. i mean i'm sure all of you would have heard of the jets that wash your ass after your b-2 bomber drops the atomic bomb/s. as you can see, im not being very sensitive. but much more sensitive was my ass. i got a rather rude shock when i experimented with the buttons at the side of the toiletbowl as i tried to get the jet to spray my behind. there were 4 levels of water strength and i did not know which one was the strongest, and which one the weakest. so i decided to just pick the top one, and unfortunately it was the strongest one, which kinda hurt actually. so i immediately switched to the weakest level and it really is kinda comfortable. push the right buttons and it gives you a royal ass treatment that cannot be bettered by anyone/anything besides roland. haha

also, u know those rather embarrassing noises in the cubicles when you go about your business? trust the japs to come up with a music player next to the toiletbowl which can play either a flushing sound or loud bird chirping sounds to drown out your "sound effects"

visited all my relatives yesterday, and today im gonna go see the okinawa aquarium. great. wonder if i can eat the fish. haha

till next time. sayonara

2006-06-06T06:11:00.000-07:00

last-minute travel plans: i will be jetting off to a very sunny japmanland aka japan on the 8th of June in the wee hours of the morning. and therefore.......

WOOHOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

am really quite excited. will be going to visit my grandmother, cousins and other relatives. fantastic. will be going to okinawa, where one of my relatives lives. its a tiny offshore island which is a 2-hour plane ride from osaka kansai airport. it's supposed to be really rich in culture and had military links from the past.

DID YOU KNOW? okinawa was not part of japan in the past. it was called the kingdom of the ryukyus. haha betcha didnt know that and are probably gonna forget it after say, 10 minutes.

last night was really tiring, though very satisfying. NO, i did not go to geylang. no it wasn't orchard towers. and no it wasnt roland's house.

it happened at a carpark...

it was kinda dark. and i was starting to get really hot...

there was no one else around...

i was starting to feel really hot as I pressed my hands on the rubber...

sweat started to drip from my palms and was all over my body...

my muscles tightened and i started to pant...

i jerked over and over and over again, each time accompanied with a loud grunt...

the nuts just wudnt budge.

one more jerk, one more would do it surely...

"ARGHHHHHH"

and it was out. finally, at long last.

if only i had paid more attention when my dad used to change the tyres last time. maybe it wudnt have taken so long.

my mum had a flat tyre cos some nail got stuck in the front right wheel and as it was late at night and im the only man in the house, i volunteered to change the tyre and put the spare in, so that she could drive to the tyre workshop the next day. it took really long and I was soaked. changing a tyre is as good as playing soccer for 30min. it is that tiring and sweat will coat your whole body. just like in soccer. but at the end of it, it is really satisfying, especially when the nut securing the tyre is finally removed, as it sure took a lot of strength to unscrew it. putting it back in was relatively easy though. as u can see, im rather good at screwing. hehe.

and now that im done with that, guys, please go check out myheritage.com. its a site where u can use a free demo to see which celebrity u look like. just upload a few photos of yourself, and the software will tell you which celebrities' faces resemble yours. so i took five shots of myself on my digital camera, and uploaded them. so how this works is different poses might yield different results, so if u send in several shots, and somehow, say, brad pitt turns up all the time, chances are, u really look like him.

MY RESULTS:
football-related:
ruud gullit 60%
patrick kluivert 61%
ronaldinho 48%
ronaldo 46%
diego maradona 54%

celebrities:
jesse metcalfe 56% and 59% (got him twice)
p diddy 72% and 55% (twice too)
viktor yuschenko 57% and 50% (twice too)
jet li 60% 45% (twice too, sadly)
grace kelly 67%
patrick stewart aka william xavier 64%
matt damon 60%
jennifer connelly 60%
david schwimmer 60%
beyonce knowles 57%
uma thurman 56%
whoopi golberg 51%
elisha cuthbert 50%
jared leto 46%
suzuki ichiro 46%
leslie cheung 46%

must say the results really surprise me. b4 i did the test, i thot my greatest likeness was probably theo walcott. but as he's not a celeb yet, maybe thats why he's not there in the list. but oh well must say im pleasantly surprised with jesse metcalfe of desperate housewives in my list.

basically im a mix of viktor yuschenko, jesse metcalfe, p diddy and jet li. with the mix of black white and yellow, i might end up looking like a zebra with half its body coated by mustard.

which sounds kinda delicious actually.

oh and i got a 100% likeness to takeshi kaneshiro!! kidding. im not that ugly u know.

cya all when i get back from the land of the hunky mixed-breeds, japan, where their mixed kids with japanese and singaporean blood turn out looking GORGEOUS. just ask me. i should know.

till next time. sayonara!

2006-04-23T05:38:00.000-07:00

youth avenue closing ceremony yesterday and yam and i were the emcees. i felt we handled the minister segment pretty well and we did not disgrace ourselves in front of him. what was really disappointing was that we failed to engage the audience during the bits of the show without tharman around. oh well i guess with the diverse audience, it was always gonna be an uphill task, but i cant help but feel we cud haf done better and maybe repaid cheryl's faith in us a little more.

performances were enjoyable and the closing act west grand boulevard were brilliant. fantastic. daphne khoo is actually quite good, and the rest of the band is quite simply fantastic. they had me bobbing my head thru the night and even jumping up and down like a kangaroo that struck the national lottery nearing the end of their performance. i was THAT excited. and you guys know im not usually that excited about alternative rock, labelling it as "noise". and before some of you get your hopes up, i've not become a rock fan overnight. i'm still very much into pop, the kind of music i usually listen to. but yar i did enjoy myself last night. and to top it all off, the guys from west grand boulevard are really humble. or at least they seem like it, as they do not have any airs about them. spoke with daphne khoo for about 10sec, and another bandmember for about 30 sec and they were both very very nice and polite. and i think thats rather admirable, considering theyre stars, and i'm a nobody.

and so it was a good night and i rushed home in time to catch the second half of arsenal v spurs. i must say the match ended and i was FURIOUS. really really boiling. spurs had opened the scoring with a highly controversial and absolutely disgusting goal. eboue and gilberto had clashed with each other and they were injured but spurs played on, like the assholes they are, and edgar davids (who clearly saw the injured players) passed the ball to robbie keane to score into an empty net. WOW BRILLIANT GOAL A LIKELY CONTENDER FOR GOAL OF THE SEASON I RECKON WELL DONE SPURS!!! GREAT GREAT GOAL. until you remember that sportsmanship totally left the hearts and minds of the spurs players. absolute cunts.

spurs cunt: "we would not want to score a goal like that." YAR RIGHT. if ur seriously remorseful, RETURN THE GOAL! simple enough ain't it? a few months back, some lower league team allowed their opponents to walk the ball into an unguarded net from kickoff because they'd just scored in similar circumstances.

and just to refresh your memory, this is not the first time spurs have been absolute cunts. rmb against newcastle? newcastle were ahead and attacking in spurs third of the pitch when they put the ball out because some spurs player was down "injured". when play finally resumed, some spurs cunt punted the ball into newcastle's half and out for a throwin so that they could pressure newcastle in their own half. TOTAL LACK OF SPORTSMANSHIP. alan shearer was understandably livid.

in conclusion, spurs are cunts. from now on i will refer to them as sp*rs. theyre disgusting and vile. and their manager is fat and ugly and looks like shrek. then again, no. shrek is kind and funny and nice, while martin jol's just DISGUSTING. and ugly. i mean he's probably uglier than me and macy gray COMBINED. now thats ugly.

2006-04-11T04:54:00.000-07:00

after waiting freaking long for our lit results to come back, finally all 4 (or is it 4.5?) subject results are back! and this time around, i made good improvements to banish the terrible memories of my promo results from my mind.

Promos:
hist: C
lit: C
econs: D
math: F
gp: a2

CT 1:
hist: B
lit: C
econs: B
math: E
gp: b4

so yup good improvement overall. only lit and gp did not improve. boohoo. especially disappointed with gp cos i know i can do better. lit was well, expected, cos besides the fact that i didnt study much, i think my lit sux so bad that even if i mugged dam hard, the best i cud probably do is a low B.

but really, i think im rather glad with the improvement considering i MUGGED MY ASS OFF during the march hols to make up ground on econs and math, even sacrificing hist and lit cos those are two subjects that really cant be that bad, i mean i dun see myself getting an F for lit or history but math well i SAW myself getting F for it way too many times beginning in sec 1 and its a trend that has never gone away ever since. its so many F's if u tried reading my math grades since 5 years back u'd sound like a sputtering pocket fan. at least that's what i think a sputtering pocket fan would sound like, never ever come across one before. but it would, wouldn't it? wind coming out because of the 'F' sound and because it's repeated quickly in succession. but hey who gives a chelsea?

i just hope im not like peaking now. cos that wud be SAD. to peak now and ultimately bomb at the a levels wud be retarded. so i hope i keep on improving and i hope that if i can't motivate myself, maybe some of u around me can help me and like tell me to work harder if i seem to be slacking.

but hey school isnt all about grades and studies (although in rj it seems like that), at least i've got floorball and it's some kind of release for me. the j2 floorball team finished top of the group with five wins out of five, scoring 4 goals in each and every one of the games. so well done!! whee. and i scored 7 out of those 20, and add to that probably 3 or 4 assists and im rather pleased with my haul. and finishing top of the group doesnt mean we win the tournament, as we still have to play a final match against the second-placed team, which is probably morrison-richardson or moor-tarbet, and both those teams are quality teams which we only managed to beat 4-3 in nail-biting and intense matches. (if u remember i got sent off permanently in the moor-tarbet match) so yar it's far from over and we still have to get out there and show them what we're made of. so come on j2s!!

in the past two days, i've run a total of 11km on the treadmill in a bid to get fit in time for napfa. and btw, just cos u guys might wanna know, i finally got a six-pack!! WOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! but then again, my relatives are coming over this weekend, and as my cousins love root beer, 5 cans might be taken from the fridge, and it'll be a six-pack no more.

(pauses and hears people from computers far away from bukit batok scream "WTF!!! that's retarded!")

i mean, hey were u really expecting me to have a six-pack? i eat so much, and a large chunk of the food i eat is unhealthy. think nissin chilli crab instant noodles, think ruffles/lays/doritos chips, think snickers bars, think whole packets of dried mangoes, think pepper crab, think char kway teow, think nasi lemak, think nasi briyani, think masala chicken, think tonkatsu, etc etc.
...
...
...
...
...
and now that you've wiped that disgusting drool off your table, and proceeded to disgustingly put it back into your mouth, yar that's what i eat very often. VERY VERY often. and so the chances of me getting a six-pack are about as high as takeshi kaneshiro's chances of someday looking better than me. very very low. in fact, it's so low, it's not a duet. (solo solo get it get it?)

i see im not making sense anymore.

(pauses and hears people from computers far away from bukit batok scream "since when have you ever?!??")

fine. shall stop blogging now and go do sourcebasedquestion. and MATH. yuckewwyuckdisgustingfuckedupdetestableshittydespicablerepulsivechelsea-ish MATH. yuck.

till the next time (which is probably not very soon), bye everyone.

2006-04-01T15:37:00.000-08:00

this might come as a shock to most of you, but i've decided to drop school after the 'a' levels, and start working. as most of you should know by now, i'm crazy about sports and now that i've been presented with an opportunity to work in espn-starsports, i've decided to take up the offer, even though i'll just be part of the backroom staff trawling the net for news to be reported on sportscenter. but i see this as a stepping stone towards becoming a sports presenter, which is ultimately, my dream job. i've already put pen to paper on a contract which will give me $960 a month (starts next year), which is peanuts, but money doesn't really matter, what matters is the chance to do what i love. and i know it sounds really stupid. my mum has given me a hard time after i decided to do this. she is understandably, quite shocked too, but ever since one of my relatives, who works at espn mentioned that there was a lack of backroom staff to do the dirty work (research and basically verifying information so that the presenters can look all glamorous on the tv screen)

the decision to do this might seem stupid, but i have my reasons:

1) I love sports so so much
2) I COULD become a sports presenter in future
3) I hate school anyway and can't see myself studying for like 4 more years
4) ESPN Starsports is a great place to develop my career
5) My future doesn't look bright in any other career choice i might pursue
6) most importantly.....it's april fools today!! hahaa

happy april fools' guys. this has got to be the first april fools' day i haven't been tricked.

arsenal beating juventus 2-0 has gotta be the highlight of the week. great great play by the lads. cesc fabregas was brilliant (more on him later) and the picture below kinda sums up the anal-ysis of vieira's performance on his return to arsenal's fortress, highbury.

Gilberto took Wenger's instructions to "get stuck in there" a tad too literally.

and still on the subject of arsenal, tohari pajian, a new paper columnist who is a "fan of arsenal", makes a terribly retarded comment, and it is precisely this sort of comments that appear so often on newspapers which makes me feel optimistic about my chances of becoming a sports journalist in future.

when asked about cesc fabregas, arsenal's precocious 18-year-old talent, tohari pajian had this to say.

Tohari Pajian: "Fabregas' strongest point is his vision and ability to play that 30 or 40-metre through-ball to split the defence. The best example was when he opened up a goal for Thierry Henry to score against Real Madrid in the Champions League knockout stage before."

WTF? "best example"? ladies and gentlemen, the pass that fabregas made to henry for him to score against real madrid was all of an amazing, astounding, brilliant, simply outstanding FIVE yards. yes FIVE yards. henry then proceeded to run the ball 40 yards before scoring. surely the "best example" should have been the brilliant daisy-cutter through-pass against liverpool that enabled henry to score?

anyway, common test resutlts. got back econs (B), sea history (C). very satisfied with econs cos i really mugged my ass off and B is probably the least i deserved. then again, i mugged my ass off for math too, and i dun think i have a chance in hell of getting a B for it. sea history, slight disappointment, though im hoping that my international history grades can pull it up. as it stands i need a 31/50 for my ih component, and i think/hope i get at least that.

i have no idea how ill do for lit. it cud be good, it cud be disastrous. im expecting a C, and math im expecting a D or E, anything lower ill be majorly disappointed, cos having studied so hard for math, failing it would be like being screwed in the ass with a 100 year-old tree trunk.

then again, that sounds like a good idea to experiment with roland haha.

Your sense of humor is Banter:

Like a king of pinball, you've made an art of playing off of people because your sense of humor is all about banter. Like many great comedians before you, a roundtable of friends, or a roomful of targets, is the catalyst for what makes you laugh. It brings out the wit — and sometimes the nitwit — in everyone. It's quantity, not quality that matters as you and your friends alternate outbursts like the riffs of a hit single. Here's the bottom line: You're a social creature. Other people's inside jokes even strike you as funny. You manage to gravitate toward people who can appreciate a tall tale and you've probably never hesitated to fire off a zinger — even in a roomful of strangers. So keep it up with your bantering methods. Laughter, after all, keeps the world going 'round.

What's Your Sense of Humor?

Brought to you by Tickle

2006-03-26T03:47:00.000-08:00

END OF COMMON TESTS!!! WOOHOOOO!!

a couple of weeks worth of hard work and finally it's over. finally got to play soccer on wednesday, thursday, AND friday. very rare in rj, where all the ri boys suddenly lose their passion in playing soccer and turn into couch potatoes who watch soccer matches, bet on soccer matches, eat crackers while watching soccer, talking about soccer, reading soccer news, and possibly even jerking off while watching soccer matches, (ok maybe that was an exaggeration) basically EVERYTHING but PLAYING soccer. kinda sad.

past few days have been spent watching tv and doing nothing. seriously. tv marathons watching EVERYTHING. and i mean EVERYTHING. even random episodes of korean serials i've never even followed and will probably never continue to follow. i mean what's the point? all korean serials are the same. boy meets girl in school, boy falls for girl but girl kinda dislikes him at first cos he's loud and rough and chauvinistic. however, girl grows to like the boy and they fall in love. THEN. suddenly. they realise that they share the same mother/father, making them half-siblings, and thus having blood ties, they cannot marry. they cry, a sad korean song playing in the background as they hug each other tight and snow falls in the background. and in the end, they realise that their parents are actually NOT THE SAME! so they can marry and they cry again, this time tears of joy. alas, the female lead has some sort of cancer and she dies. and before she dies, she lies in the arms of the male lead and some sad korean song plays in the background while the snow falls and then they both cry. and weep. and cry and weep and cry and weep and then......i turn off the tv.

very random i know, but the beauty consultant who attended to me at the place i went to this morning for a facial had a weird, laughable name. her badge had her name printed on it and it read "Trannie". and there i was trying to stifle my laughter, i mean its alright if u look like one but u don't have to tell the whole world you are one? haha. but nah. she looked fine actually. and she was very nice.

and last night's matches were dumb. chelsea, once again cheated their way to victory. against newcastle a few days back asier del horno and shaun wright-phillips dived to win freekicks. last night against man city, drogba's second goal was a clear handball. and that moronic chelsean actually admitted to it "yar i cheated, so what?" I HATE HIM. along with all chesea players.

stuart pearce's reaction was very funny. "Drogba is a good player. He scores goals, he costs a lot of money, he is good in the air and he is a handful to play against. I haven't thought about anything else."

a "handful"? hahaha nice one stuart. he sure is a handful to play against, two handballs in two matches.

and while i'm on the subject of chelshit, claude makelele said on his blog, 'As players we rate him and respect him and you only have to look at the players who are out of the team to know why he is highly regarded. Players like Huth, Geremi and Johnson would walk into any other tram but they are prepared to wait for their chance at Chelsea without complaint.' makelele commenting on jose "arrogant" mourinho.

"tram"? i mean i have heard of training, but "tramming"?

2006-03-17T20:14:00.000-08:00

i know i really shudn't be blogging now, with the common tests in two days time, but im really sick of studying and hopefully after spending a short while here, my mind will be refreshed and i can hit the books once again. and by "hitting the books" i don't mean mustering all my strength and slamming them, although I have half a mind to do just that. and after studying, ill prob stop at 11pm..to catch arsenal take on charlton at highbury.

somehow i have a bad feeling about this one. even though i really shudnt. arsenal have suddenly hit form, knocking out real madrid and then beating liverpool at home, but u know, this season arsenal fans can never be sure. losing to west brom, blackburn, everton, west ham and an off-form newcastle at that time is hardly good enough for a club that has been challenging for the title consistently in recent seasons. sure, chelsea with their tonnes of money have changed things in the epl, but this season arsenal have fallen behind manyoo, liverpool, and worst of all, SPURS!! or rather, "SP*RS". losing a european spot to our city rivals would be disastrous and as such, we must continue our unbeaten streak and make sure we win all our remaining games.

but even if we don't, we could still do it by clinching the champions league! this season has been rather strange. despite our domestic troubles, our european campaign has been very successful. we breezed past our group stage opponents, and then two extraordinary nights against real madrid. we won the santiago bernabeu leg 1-0 with a beautifully-taken henry goal and then in the highbury leg, we kept a clean sheet to take the tie 1-0 on aggregate. what really impressed me most about the two matches was the impressive workrate of the whole team. everyone worked their socks off and chased every ball. three players though, deserve special mention.

1) eboue: inexperienced and lightweight right-back most people felt. i had a good feeling about him though when he first joined, cos i remember on his debut he did three step-overs before cutting in and firing a shot onto the crossbar. against real, he was simply brilliant. playing on the right, and given the task of shackling robinho/zidane/roberto carlos, he did so with admirable ease and when he got forward, the real defence seemed to panick as they found it difficult to deal with his direct running (spanish teams tend to play more technically).

2) flamini: i picked him not because he did a great job at leftback, he was good, but not GREAT. but he's picked because he's a defensive midfielder! that's his natural position, but yet when called upon to play at leftback, he performed well and made sure beckham wasn't as devastatingly effective as he normally is.

3) aliaksandr hleb: this guy, for me, was the man of the match in the second leg. but i dun think it was given to him, which is a shame, really. he worked his socks off and chased every ball down to help out the defence, even though when brought in by wenger, he was supposed to be a playmaker. and he didnt just help in defence, he was always starting counter-attacks and running at full speed to support his teammates. at one point in the second half he even outpaced roberto carlos (short brazilian shit with thighs the size of coconut trees), forcing carlos to bring him down crudely. simply amazing how he played at top speed throughout the match until he was replaced in the 87th minute with the Highbury faithful applauding him warmly, and he deserved it. prior to the madrid matches, his performances this season have been poor and he's been getting so much stick from the fans that he could probably build himself a little hut. hurhur not funny.

of course, the rest were great too, but players like cesc, lehmann and henry have been doing well all season so i don't have to single them out for praise yet again.

http://www.fcbarcelonablog.com states that thierry henry has a verbal agreement to join barcelona, citing "inside sources" and repeatedly insisting that they are being "truthful" and that henry will become a barca player at the end of this season. well all arsenal fans mourn now, because its definitely true that henry's leaving us...i mean, a totally unbiased source, barcelona's club blog is saying that henry will join them...it's gotta be true..i mean there's no reason why they should do this right? yar right. these stupid catalonians are trying to unsettle thierry henry and this is the cheapest way of doing it. very low and very disappointing considering theyre such a great club with such a great history.

but anyway, barca fans i have a little inside scoop for you.

I am writing about what I know and obviously I cannot release my inside sources but I can confirm that I am posting with truthful intention and releasing valuable information coming from reliable sources within the Arsenal FC, that Lionel Messi, Ronaldinho and Carles Puyol are set to be used as makeweights in a deal to bring the highly-rated Pascal "Zinedine" Cygan to the Camp Nou. It is believed that Barcelona are prepared to offer all three players along with 39million euros, and possibly Deco and Giuly too, if Arsenal refuse to let go of their best French import in years. I know this might sound like a joke, but it's true! If you ask Monsieur Wenger for his opinions on this, I'm sure he would confirm that if Barcelona do make such an offer, he might consider letting go of his prized asset. Also, this one I'm not so sure about, but the other day when i was in the Highbury dressing room after our home win against Liverpool celebrating with the lads, I think I overheard Thierry saying to Walcott, "Next season, the both of us will set the Premiership alight together. and the season after that too. and many many more to come, until i retire when i reach 87, and by that time I would probably be slower than a legless tortoise" So, unless the "verbal agreement" includes Walcott moving over too, which I doubt, then I think that Thierry's statement obviously shows that he wants to stay at Arsenal.

SO , if you don't believe me, barca fans, it's up to you. but my sources have NEVER failed me. up to you to believe. but it's difficult to prove i must admit. oh and in case you're wondering how come I know all this and none of the newspapers have reported it, it's because I have paid each newspaper that knows about this 10 billion euros to shut up and not report it. and if you're wondering how come I have so much money, it's because I am actually the brother of the good friend of the sister of the godfather of the mistress of the son of the wife of the pimp that handles Roman Abramovich and that Russian gives me money everytime I say that Didier Drogba is really good-looking and that Jose Mourinho is really humble, and oh, that Shaun Wright-Phillips is taller than Peter Crouch. so sit back and digest this very truthful information and ponder what life for barca would be like without puyol, messi, ronaldinho, deco and giuly would be. hey it'd be quite bad, but at least u guys will get pascal cygan, a tremendous goalscoring defender. i'm serious. check the stats, this season, he's scored two goals in every match he's played against fulham. also his defensive prowess can be seen from the fact that one of the world's top strikers, andriy shevchenko, has never in his long career scored past a defence with pascal cygan in it. now, even great italian defender cannavaro doesnt have that record. to top it off and end my post, pele and maradona have not scored against ANY defence with pascal cygan in it. enough said.

2006-02-26T13:41:00.000-08:00

DRAMAFESTE!!

it was a great night that i enjoyed thoroughly and it was well worth the money. morrison-richardson very deservedly won best overall production as i thought it was brilliant and was also my personal favourite. and gao shen fully deserved his "best actor" award as i felt he was flawless. (he only won it cos i wasnt there, my unstoppable talent on stage winning me the award over him last year at aj) haha kidding. gao shen was so so good on friday night, it left me wondering just how i managed it last year. fluke maybe. but anyway congrats to him. and i thot best actress was brilliant too. unfortunately im not sure how to spell her name. sindu? xindu? sindoo? something like that lar. and congrats navjote!!

however, before dramafeste started, mcdonalds tried their best to dampen our spirits. while i was at floorball getting completely owned by the teachers, abel jovian shiyun roland ying ordered macs delivery at 545 for all of us, and they were assured their food would arrive by 630. then they received a call saying it wud come at 645 i think. so 630 came and went...645 came and went...and the food only came at like 705. WTF WTF. we were left with no time to eat and we had to bring the food to the PAC and luckily xinling was kind enough to allow us to keep our food underneath a table outside. and we had to gobble our food up as quick as we could during the 10-minute interval. DARNED MACS. shitfaces.

back to dramafeste, i felt the entertainment while the judges were deciding the winners was good, but cud have been so much better. especially the segment where they got cast/crew members to go on stage and produce a "video" to help them score a date. reuben was GREAT as gollum. navjote was quite funny as a malay woman, but i felt tinky-winky and michael jackson were not funny at all. a shame really, as those two characters had the MOST potential to be funny. but oh well, they prob tried their best, so credit to them anyway! oh. i forgot to mention jireh. HE WAS BRILLIANT AS WHITNEY HOUSTON ON CRACK. BRILLIANT. ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT.

oh and during floorball, while chasing after a long ball, i ran too fast, tripped on the ball (flattening it in the process), lost my balance, and started sliding towards the fire hydrant at the corner of the indoor gym. i tried to avoid it, but only succeeded in pushing myself towards the corner of the wall, OUCH. suffered several friction-burns, quite bad bruising, and got laughed at by the spectators haha. but im fine, right arm and back hurt like shit but went to see the doc and he said the arm is just heavily bruised, while my back was probably slightly overstretched or something. so i guess im still going for touch rug training tmr.

what makes the injury worse was the fact that i played like absolute crap. i wudnt mind suffering twice the pain if i got injured while scoring a goal, like maybe tucking the ball in and then having two opponents sandwich me in attempted tackles and their goalkeeper falling on my head. but no..the whole afternoon i was SHIT.

and i just realised that sounds like morten gamst pedersen pulling his hamstring (or maybe shud call it gamstring) while scoring the winner past arsenal in blackburn's win against arsenal last night. SCREW U MORTEN GAMST PEDERSEN. asshole why didnt u pull ur gamstring a minute earlier? loser retard. now arsenal are gonna have to win the champions league to qualify for next seasons champs league.

1-0 against real madrid. 0-1 against blackburn. is that evidence of inconsistency? NAH. arsenal have been very consistent this season. consistent in being good one match and bad the next. theyve been consistent in being inconsistent. am i making sense? anw gtg do heart of darkness now. SCREW BLACKBURN. i hope pedersen realises its not a pulled hamstring but rather a broken pelvis and tailbone and spine instead. and bellamy too. the short useless tattooed shitface shud burn in hell.

2006-02-21T20:10:00.000-08:00

first day at school BALD. actually not bald lar. just really really really short hair. ok FINE. near-bald. whatever. very mixed responses. there was the "hey u look better in this!" and the "nice nice, not bad" and on the other hand, i got the "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAA WTF WTF U LOOK LIKE A DINOSAUR!!" screw u abel.here's a list of reasons why i dun look like a dino.

1) ok.....so really, how on earth do i look like a dinosaur? i CANNOT imagine myself scurrying across fields chasing after stupid humans who disturb us THREE TIMES (jurassic park 1,2,3) knowing they could very well get their asses eaten by our long....long....FANGS. (tsktsk what were you thinking?)

2) or maybe abel means i look like a brontosaurus, not a velociraptor scurrying through tall grass or a t-rex running after a jeep. but STILL, i CANNOT imagine myself picking up leaves from faraway trees and grass from acres away with help from my long...long.........neck. (tsktsk dirtyminded once again.)

3) as i dun have a long neck or long fangs, i really do not think i look dino-ish. the only thing that's long about me is my long...long......reach during floorball matches. PLUS dinos dun have short hair? i dun even think they have hair. unless abel's saying they actually all have short hair but they go for regular waxing. HAHHAHAA imagine that. NOW. picture a brontosaurus waxing a t-rex.

(dialogue below is in official dinosaur language: jurassic)
Bronto: now rex, i need you to relax. HEY THAT RHYMES! "rex", "relax"!!
t-rex: no it doesn't!! before i bite your neck, get on with the wax!
bronto: hey that rhymes again!! "rex", "relax", "wax"!!
t-rex: SHUT UP! u want a taste of my whacks?
bronto: HEY THAT RHYMES AGAIN! "rex", "relax", "wax", "whacks"! couldn't tell you were a poet, rex! us brontos have no talents whatsoever.
t-rex: i'll kill you if you don't get on with the waxing. by the way, you brontos ARE useless beings with ridiculously long necks.
bronto: HEY THAT RHYMES AGAIN! "rex", "relax", "wax", "whacks", "necks"! you've excelled yourself REX!!

and the t-rex ate the brontosaurus up cos i realise i've digressed too much. for no reason at all.

4) lastly, but most importantly, why i cannot look like a dinosaur. dinosaurs are not generally regarded to be cute/hot/handsome/charming/dashing whereas I........................................................AM. haha :D

but even if i do look like a dinosaur, at least im not alone! there's always yam beside me. :D (psst..he's bald too :D)

2006-02-13T05:24:00.000-08:00

havent blogged in a really long while and quite frankly nothing much has changed. more memorable moments? i guess i do have a few..

1) mavis shib and charles coming to b34 holding a piece of paper with the words "EAT CAKE ABEL IT'S MY BIRTHDAY TODAY" and bought me hazelnut chocolate.. :D. it was really quite funny and thoughtful and..and..and touching..[sobs uncontrollably]. yar right. ok maybe it was touching yes..but it takes a lot for me to cry.

2) and just when i say it takes a lot for me to cry, the past two weeks have been a torture for me. blardy stupid cold making my nose as blocked as...hmm i dunno...a 10-metre wide canal with yam sitting in it? haha sorry yam. i digress. as i was saying, it's been a torture cos i sneeze so frequently and i sneeze so HARD. SO HARD, that i actually start CRYING. NO SHIT. im perfectly serious here. my eyes just start to water, and before i know it teardrops are climbing down the sides of my very very good-looking face. and then my eyes turn freaking red. and my chest feels freaking tight. and overall, i feel like shit.

3) (i) but besides the stupid virus making me feel like absolute crap, there have been other positives. FLOORBALL for one. last week, the j2 floorballers whacked buckle-buckley 4-0 and i scored 2!! one from a nerve-wracking penalty, the other in the last second of the match when the opponent curiously passed the ball straight to me, and i duly repaid his faith in me by scoring to heap further misery on the buckleyans. crap lar, scoring against my own house. that said, the scoreline probably flattered us, as the buckley team wasnt that bad, its just that they had two substitutes and we had 11. haha big difference in the second half when legs started to tire and we were able to put on fresh legs all the time. says a lot when the halftime score was 0-0 and then we whack them 4-0. oh and the most retarded part of the game? when i scored my second goal to make it 4-0, i wheeled away in delight and slid on the floor for about 2 metres. bad decision. the friction caused an old wound to re-open. im a retard.

3) (ii) and just now, we played our second match against morrison-richardson, who along with moor-tarbet, are the strongest teams in this years inter-house floorball championship. i must say our team did make some stupid mistakes and gave away the ball unnecessarily, but overall, we showed tremendous fighting spirit to launch superb comebacks to win the game. halftime it was 0-0, but after ten minutes we were down 2-0 due to brilliant blitzkrieg tactics by the j1s, who really stunned us. having rested enough from my exhausting but ultimately ineffective 6 minutes in the first half, i came on and knew that our team faced an uphill battle to come back from the jaws of defeat. but within seconds of coming on, i got the ball on the right after a brilliant pass, and turned it into the middle hoping someone could react quickly and tap it in. and we did put it in!! so 2-1. then we got a penalty for a high-stick foul. and once again i was pushed up to take it. (i swear it fucking sux to take a penalty when ur under such pressure, knowing that if you score, your team will be level again, and if you don't, u'll feel freaking guilty and lousy) but i had no choice, and luckily i scored. so 2-2!! and we celebrated like mad. but just after that, we let in another retarded goal and it was 3-2 and at that moment we all hung our heads and thought it was overbut hey i put in another cross and it was converted again for 3-3!! and minutes later, 4-3!! and then i came off and hats off to the guys who stayed on the court. they fought for every ball and even though mr had two GOLDEN opportunities to equalise, the guys on court really defended well and managed to eat up all the seconds left till the buzzer sounded, to cap a remarkable comeback!! well done j2 floorball!! two wins from two, eight goals scored, three conceded.

note: though i almost got sent off because there was this j1 who kept tackling me from behind and being really rough and i got pissed and SHOVED him. luckily luckily hockey tan wasn't looking. heng ar

so basically thats it. my birthday, floorball and the dreaded virus. nothing else much happened (i think)

gtg sleep now. my nose is still damn stuck. wtf

2006-01-21T21:40:00.000-08:00

arsenal lost yet again. at home they play like they have a good shot at wresting the title back from chelski and their sugar daddy abramo-rich. away from home, they play like sunderland, and coupled wif terrible luck and terrible officiating, the result is small teams with no right to even have a sniff at arsenal end up grinding out results like everton did last night.

james beattie did very well to score everton's winner in the 13th minute, credit to him. however, the way our defence tried to prevent him from getting a sniff at goal was terrible. wait a minute. i said "tried". they didn't actually.

a long hopeful ball from some evertonian who probably had no intention of actually playing the ball to beattie, just pumping the ball and hoping like some amateur 10-year-old that it would fall for a teammate. and it did. beattie bulldozed his way past both campbell and senderos easily and dinked it over lehmann when he came out and tried to deal with the situation. no offence to beattie, but that goal is hardly gonna be considered a great/classic goal and questions must be asked about our defence. i know that kolo toure and eboue are away at the african nations cup and that has affected our defence, with kerrea gilbert given his premiership debut at rightback and lauren switched over to the left, but a central defensive pairing of senderos and campbell shud not have made an error like that. shameful.

and our attack was woefully inefficient. probing and probing and probing but with no end-product except for that fantastic move which saw ljungberg's shot parried onto the post. so so unlucky for him, still waiting for his first goal of the season.

anyway i think gilbert had a good debut and i think arsenal are dam unlucky bcos we have so many capable right backs, but on the left...what can i say. we have lauren, eboue, gilbert, toure if needed, on the right, but then on the left, we have ashley cole and gael clichy, who're both injured. and beyond those two? CYGAN! pascal "zinedine" cygan. who sux.

and i think arsenal cannot achieve second place in the league anymore. theyre too far behind liverpool and i think realistically, we shud be aming for 3rd/4th. but this is a season of transition for wenger's wonkers, and i believe next year we will be stronger than ever, provided we get a world-class central midfielder to kick gilberto from the team.

mark my words.

2006-01-09T22:41:00.000-08:00

i was really bored and so i decided to go to engrish.com...GOOD DECISION!! i laffed till my ass dropped off. no really. i might look funny now and become the BUTT of many jokes that insensitive ASSHOLES CRACK, but hey i wun be pissed..its not like im ANAL or something. and u guys wun have the CHEEK to do it anyway. ok that was a horrible attempt at being funny. so i'll leave it to Mr Akirayunomotoyahijukurawosarawanakatainamotosuzukimitsubishihitachidaikinkoizumi, whom i BUMped into (haha not funny.), to tell you a little about my homeland, Japan.

take it away, Mr Akirayunomotoyahijukurawosarawanakatainamotosuzukimitsubishihitachidaikinkoizumi

tharnk yu eddi,in da warld ofu japanesu foodo, there are a many many sarprising thing dato yu can find, for exampru, insecto with eggu.
http://engrish.com/recent_detail.php?imagename=lice-omlet.jpg&category=Menus&date=2005-12-29

chocoretto in the japan isu also very intaresteeng. and chocoretto name also sometime contradicto.
http://engrish.com/detail.php?imagename=bigmini.jpg&category=Chocolate&date=1997-12-30

another chocoretto name. this time very typicarl of japanese culture. very very darty.
http://engrish.com/detail.php?imagename=woody.jpg&category=Chocolate&date=2002-10-01

in the japan we have many many intaresting fruitsu. we have square watameron, US$100 rockmeron, ando very very beegu fuji apple. but we now also havu...COMING LEMONS!!
http://engrish.com/detail.php?imagename=Coming.jpg&category=Candy&date=1996-07-20

also, we here in japan like very weirdo drinku. we like meat, and we like drinku, so we mix togethar!! hahhaaha very crever neh!! and not justo ani meato, but kat and monkee!
http://engrish.com/detail.php?imagename=monkeyfizz.jpg&category=Drinks&date=2004-05-24

more about weirdo drinku. we japaneesu also very rike to drink human bodily fruids. and if possiburu, with peach flavar too!!
http://engrish.com/detail.php?imagename=coolpis.jpg&category=Drinks&date=2003-11-28

buto enuffu of foodo ando drinku. rets talk abouto the japanese raws. in other country, minar no arow to havu seksu, only 16 and abarv then arow. but in japan, no need to wait so rong, once 12 and abarv, can havu seksu!! justo read rulu nambar 3 in this rist.
http://engrish.com/detail.php?imagename=yomiuriland-gondola.jpg&category=Signs/Posters&date=2005-11-30

more about seksu. japan raw also do not arow seksu during the work.
http://engrish.com/detail.php?imagename=prohibition-on-penetration.jpg&category=Signs/Posters&date=2005-11-21

japan raw also do not arow usu to burn firemen.
http://engrish.com/detail.php?imagename=dont-burn-the-fire-chief.jpg&category=Signs/Posters&date=2005-05-23

japan raw also do not arow shittizens to fight at home, buto if harv to, we can buy weapans from this departmento store.
http://engrish.com/detail.php?imagename=housewar-appliances.jpg&category=Signs/Posters&date=2005-03-15

and rastry, a new rule in japan. every floor must have a toiretto. and the toiretto musto be asu beegu asu the robby.
http://engrish.com/detail.php?imagename=shitthing.jpg&category=Signs/Posters&date=2004-09-01

2006-01-05T00:08:00.000-08:00

koped off shib's blog.

1. What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before? talk to a female for more than 5min? haha.(refer to prev entry) apply for an attempt at a guinness world record?
2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions,and will you make more for next year? no resolution, and yes..see prev entry.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? no
4. Did anyone close to you die?ditto
5. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005? abs hahaha. hmm diligence?
7. What dates from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? my birthday in aj, the us trip, first day in rj, first day me, edmond, gary decided to stop keeping to ourselves and trying to get to know our classmates in aj
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? best actor at aj dramanight is the only achievement i can think of. haha i suck.
9. What was your biggest failure? not working harder
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? abscess in the thigh, leading to an operation to cut up flesh, crutches for two weeks blarblar refer to prev entry
11. What was the best thing you bought? sony network walkman
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? jovian.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? my mum? haha sometimes lar though i know she loves me and wat she does is for my own good.
14. Where did most of your money go? eating. definitely.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? us trip. first day in rj.
16. What songs will always remind you of 2005? "helena - my chemical romance", "honesty - billy joel", "dragostea din tei - o-zone" (hafta agree wif yam!), "love somebody like you - keith urban"
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? happier.
b) thinner or fatter? HAHAHAHAAH fatter. definitely.
c) richer or poorer? richer. slightly.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of? play soccer. talk to friends. being considerate
19. What do you wish you'd done less of? joking? haha. slacking.
20. How will you be spending Christmas? spent. with relatives and i ate a hell lot.
21. Did you fall in love in 2005? yes.
22. How many one-night stands? lost count. :D
23. What was your favorite TV program? whose line is it anyway? does epl count?
24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn'thate this time last year? tt durai?
25. What was the best book you read? 50 things you should know
26. What was your greatest musical discovery? billy joel, my chemical romance, anne murray, o-zone??!?! hahaha kidding on the last one
27. What did you want and get? wanted lotsa stuff i didnt need like expensive clothes and network walkman etc and got them.
28. What did you want and not get? better grades? more freedom.
29. What was your favorite film of this year? "goal", "40 year old virgin", "dude where's my car?" (not from this year, but i watched it twice again this year so what the hell)
30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? 17. spent it in school. aj classmates really touched me as it was the first time my classmates bought me a cake and sang me a song. almost touched to tears.
31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? a lot more soccer. definitely.
32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005? heck care? t-shirt jeans.
33.What kept you sane? am i sane?
34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? thierry henry
35. What political issue stirred you the most? tt durai and the nkf shit
36. Who did you miss? ben tham and gary.
37. Who was the best new person you met? tough one. shall chicken out.
38. Tell us a valuable life lesson: "if you be nice to people and get slapped in the face, try to still be nice to them" i know it sounds like bullshit but really, be nice, people.

2005-12-30T19:21:00.000-08:00

as 2005 draws to a close, i shall take a look back at the past 365 days and list stuff that i think will stay in my memory for the rest of my life (or maybe not, but at least for the next 10 years).

1) liverpool winning the uefa champions league when they had really no right to. up against a formidable milan comprising of such household names as kaka, shevchenko and maldini, noone really gave liverpool much of a chance. and at half-time, liverpool really had NO RIGHT to win it. milan were clinically efficient as they raced to a 3-0 lead in the opening 45 minutes with goals from crespo and maldini. even the staunchest of liverpool fans would not have hoped for much after witnessing liverpool being completely outplayed, out-thought, and out-classed by the milanese. so as the two sides came out of the dressing rooms for the second half, the cup seemed headed to the san siro. so when riise played a perfect cross for steven gerrard to expertly head into the top corner past dida, most thought "ok, so 3-1, thats not gonna change anything". but a few minutes later when vladimir smicer rolled back the years to launch a superb drive (though deflected) past the despairing dive of dida, for the first time many believed that this liverpool team would not go down without a fight, and maybe, just maybe, they wouldnt go down at all! and so it was, when gerrard's lung-bursting run into the box was crudely halted by milan's hardman gennaro gattuso, pool were awarded a penalty which xabi alonso stepped up to take. the initial penalty was saved superbly by dida, but the rebound was smashed high into the net by alonso for the equaliser. even when i watch replays of the match, i still feel goosebumps at that very moment when alonso smashed in the rebound. so 3-3, but liverpool seemed drained towards the end of the match, and deep in injury time, shevchenko forced an unbelievable double save from jerzy dudek, the polish stopper who has received so much flak throughout his playing career. and when it got to penalties, dudek repeated his heroics again, saving from andrea pirlo and shevchenko again to complete the most remarkable comeback in european football EVER. and im not a liverpool fan, but i feel that when you've got that much fighting spirit to rally even when the chips are down, u deserve to win. so this memory surely will stay with me for quite a long time.

2) the us trip (boston, washington dc, new york)
the collective memories will stay with me forever. mad photo-taking (which i normally hate because i can't smile for nuts), acting gay with huanna and abel (hahaha), acting all couple-ish with shib (the stench!!), teasing yam about bottle caps (or rather, the lack of it :D), teasing shib about her harvard hoodie (matching hoodie matching hoodie..), sharing a huge box of dunkin donuts with navjote, my fellow donut mass-murderer (they were dam nice lar!!), late-night instant noodle parties (thanx navjote for his endless supplies), the night i ate 3 tubs of ben & jerry's ice-cream in cheryl/zan/alps' room (which thus led to alps calling me a "freak". bahh), jumping up and down with huanna on liberty island, hearing yam yelp in bed, arguing with jovian over whether alan smith's good enough to play for man u, being absolutely delighted shopping at the $7.98 shop at the outlet mall with charles, laughing myself silly watching "the producers" on broadway, and of course, the snowball fight with charis, jovian, charles, huanna and wantian which was fantastic fun. and the snowman we made!! hahaha..too many many memories. and im sure many of them will stay with me for a very very VERY long time.

3) the pain i experienced when the doctors/nurses dressed my wound on my thigh.
ok im sure this story has done its rounds but i shall repeat it for the benefit of those who still don't know. a pimple appeared on my thigh, i burst it and washed it with dettol, it somehow still got infected, pus accumulated in there, it got so bad that i was hospitalised and an operation had to be carried out to cut out a portion of flesh to drain out the pus and clear dead cells. a hole was left in my left thigh and i had to go for dressing thrice a week, which was a nightmare every time i went. i remember it was so painful i gripped my right thigh so hard that my hand left marks on the thigh. and my face looked terribly contorted. and the three weeks on crutches makes the pain even more unforgettable.

4) the memories in aj.
the first three months this year were spent in that little campus by yio chu kang mrt and i really enjoyed my time there. the recre soccer trainings, rehearsals after rehearsals for dramanite which culminated in the winning of the best costume and best actor award, the aj speak-ez sessions, hiding in the library ponning lessons, times spent with that certain somebody, playing soccer with the class guys after school, hanging out with edmond and gary who have been with me since sec 1, sneaking over to rj to meet up wif old friends, the fun-fair, getting the ball confiscated after being caught playing on the corridor, classmates teasing me about my huge pimple on the nose, and many many more.

5) 1a01e.
the first time i met my new class in march, i was still feeling sad and felt they could never match up to my previous class in aj. i was sooo wrong. 1e turned out to be fantastic and loads of fun to be with. i remember the "lame club" that they had set up in the first 3 months and how so-and-so was the founding father, founding grandmother etc etc. and how i came in and smashed the hierarchy by establishing myself as the founding great great great great really great grandfather. i also rmb floorball during pe and our games against 1a and 1d. very very memorable as 1e's teamwork always tore our opponents to shreds..haha just that we couldn't finish the moves most of the time due to someone's lack of finishing ability. i will also fondly rmb the many times we sat in the canteen and had plenty of fun just joking around and toking nonsense, playing chinese chess with roland and jovian, and also taboo after the exams. i enjoyed myself thoroughly this year and next year, even as we are 1a01e no longer, as we become j2s, and thus 2a01e, but the faces don't change and i'm looking forward to another great year ahead!

6) tt durai.
i will never forgive that man for what he did. the insanely high pay, the encashment of annual leave for obscene sums of money, the gold tap with gold toilet-bowl cover (think he who? goldmember ar?), the insane bonuses he hands out to his assistants and worst of all, all using public funds which the public sincerely believed would be used to help all those suffering patients whose plights are shown on tv every year during those charity shows.

7) buckle-buckley!!
my beloved house!! i took part in inter-house floorball, hockey, soccer, touch rugby, track and field and unfortunately we didnt win anything. maybe im a jinx hahaha. i scored once in floorball, once in touch rugby and i put in a good performance against morrison-richardson for hockey as goalkeeper. soccer was a disaster for buckle-buckley as we lost all our matches i think. hahaha. but we all put in our very best for all the matches and so cheers all buckleyans!! [the terrible buckley anthem playing in the background] someone please come up with a new anthem..PLEASE PLEASE..i mean everyone laffs while singing it!

8) actually liking a few non-pop non-cheesy songs.
this time last year i wud NEVER EVER touch green day and good charlotte, as i wud have branded them as "noisy", "heavy on the ears", and then open winamp and listen to my favourites like the backstreet boys, *nsync, a1, westlife, britney spears, luther vandross, delta goodrem etc etc. the turning point finally came this year when i saw "helena" by my chemical romance on mtv. i hated it at first, but like mould on bread, it grew very quickly on me and i decided to give other genres of music a chance and thus my music taste has changed quite a lot this year. no don't get me wrong, i still absolutely LOVE the above-mentioned bands/singers, its just that i now like a little bit from the other genres.

9) eastern europe trip in june.
very very memorable as the scenery was breathtaking. no, really. charles bridge in prague was fantastic, as was the city of dresden, as was vienna. shopping was very fun too. this trip is all the more memorable as i was teased by EVERYONE about miss poh COINCIDENTALLY being on the same trip. i repeat. COINCIDENTALLY..C-O-I-N-C-I-D-E-N-T-A-L-L-Y. and i will never forget being called up to stage to dance with that hungarian girl. if u cud call it "dancing", i think i made a absolute fool of myself, but it was fun all the same, so what the hell.

10) toking to girls.
this might sound VERY VERY loser-ish, and it is. but 2005 is like the first time i spoke to girls for more than 3min? since primary 3 at least. but p1-p3 i hated girls so that's different. but really, i was so shy that i could NOT speak to girls at all for so many years. this year in aj, i forced myself to speak to them, although i didnt talk to the girls in my og much too. it was about 2 weeks in my class before i toked to the girls and realised they really are not that scary or different and thus ive like overcome my phobia of girls (is there a word for it? like girlophobia or femalophobia or something).

and thats it. long long update and my hands are tired. my brain too, recalling stuff seems so difficult when you haven't used your brain for so long.

have a good year ahead guys!!

my new year resolution: keep my weight under 75kg, and preferably work a six-pack out, and do reasonably well for my a levels.

UPDATE: this slipped my mind. i will always remember guinness world records rejecting my application to set a record for most number of consecutive crutch-hops. and how i had to ask shib to get her mother to help me fax in the application.

UPDATE 2: this too, slippd my mind. i will always rmb how jovian and yam, ardent man u supporters reacted when they watched arsenal undeservedly win the fa cup on penalties. jon was there too, but he was a neutral, so it didnt affect him that much. but i rmb wearing my arsenal jersey crossing my fingers during the penalty shootout and whipping it off when patrick vieira blasted home the winning penalty and running around my coffee table. hahaha i will never forget that.

2005-12-28T18:55:00.000-08:00

soccer with the guys on monday was fantastic. i hadnt played soccer for quite a long while (about two months?) and yar it felt good to be back on the turf and giving those legs a run-out. thanx to huanna, jian, pong, teo, jong, chiang, lee hu, benny, cai, dings for such an enjoyable game!! although i only scored twice due to somebody poaching my goal (grrrr jong..) and benny!!! omg i cud haf had 5 or 6 assists if benny had been more clinical in front of goal, but benny missed whenever i presented him with a scoring opportunity. as he said, maybe my passes are jinxed, cos he managed to be very clinical when other teammates put him through. hahaha rotten luck.

past few days have been rather boring..gaming sleeping eating watching tv..basically nothing more than those four activities. and oh i started doing math hw last night which is really really difficult. i think i only managed to do what, 3 out of the first 6? math sux.

but from all the negatives a positive emerges. arsenal have now won two games on the trot and look to be back to their normal form with a 4-0 rout of portsmouth, who were looking to be undergoing a mini-revival of their own.

and now its back to leading my yeovil town to premiership and european glory in championship manager. have a good 2006 everyone!! :D:D:D

2005-12-22T03:00:00.000-08:00

such a long time since i blogged!! been to the states and back in that time and had one of the best times in my life there..

the trip was fun not so much for the places we visited or the things we saw, but what made it really fun was the company. so thanx to everyone who made the trip wonderful for me!! i shant name names here because i have a tendency to accidentally leave out names when i come up with lists of people to thank, and thats not very nice.

shall like do a yam here and list ten memories that sprung into my mind first, only this list comprises of memories of the time spent in the states.

1) somehow i thought of this first. the stinging smell of the chicken pieces that yam and i ordered at bennigan's, an irish eating place 5min away from our hotel. the smell really put me off eating any more of it. which led to jovian chiding me for my wastefulness, saying "every night, 3 million africans go to bed hungry", in a bid to make me feel guilty. haha and he sorta succeeded. bah.

2) the matching hoodie song. hahahaha basically shib and nick chiu bought almost identical hoodies from the harvard store, thus sparking off many many couple jokes..and even a song!! here goes...

matching hoodie, matching hoodie,
shibani, shibani,
oh i think she loves nick, oh i think she loves nick,
doesn't she, doesn't she?

retarded, but it was real fun teasing the pair. although it led to nick, erm, fisting me in the..erm..nvm.

3) me in my tights scrambling to get my jeans on, as xinni and jean (i think) wanted to come into our room. why did this even come to mind? seems so insignificant...

4) instant noodle "party" on the last night when huanna, shib and some other people came over to our room and ate and talked and basically had a very good time.

5) me switching between the detroit pistons game and mtv and accidentally accessing some adult programme. i remember quite clearly what happened.

me: "WTF WTF CHARLES WTF LOOK AT THIS!!!"
charles: [rushing out of the bathroom] "OMG WTH!!"
me: [switches back to detroit pistons game] "wat the shit was THAT. omg we gotta tell navjote!!"
the 2 of us went over to jote's room, told him and i'll never forget his reaction. it was like surprise mixed with glee as he rushed over and grabbed the remote, while charles and i were still in shock.

6) times square!!! ill never forget the lights and colours!! i mean, i had seen it b4 in photos and on tv, but to actually be THERE? omg it took my breath away. unfortunately we were not allowed to stop on our walking tour, so i wasnt able to stop at places like the nba store, the mtv store, the nbc store and the world of disney store, which was a huge waste really. but its fine, im sure i'll go back there again someday!!

7) bob. OMG. and the food court incident. WTF. i was walking with huanna when bob appeared. bob was our tour guide btw. as i was saying, bob appeared and reminded us to meet at the 3rd floor on time. then he said he needed to use the restroom and went off in that direction. i was in the way, but instead of walking around me or saying "excuse me", he lifted both hands and propelled me forward with only his pelvis and tummy for about TEN METRES!! all the time saying "someone's in the way, someone's in the way" while chuckling like santa claus. traumatised? nah not really, i was just really puzzled and amused.

8) me stepping right through the slush outside boston park plaza hotel and getting my feet like frozen. i swear my feet were as cold as my jokes. hurhur not funny. no really, they were freezing and soon enough i couldn't feel anything. and then charles told me to soak them in a hot bath, which was a blardy good idea actually. soon the feeling in my toes came back and then i realised my feet stank. but that's a different story altogether.

9) me and charles packing our bags or something while yam was asleep when we suddenly heard yam yelp like a puppy. i swear that's what it sounded like. very cute yet VERY disturbing. and according to charles, he also did something to the blanket, or rather, did something ON the blanket, which i can't say here (too embarrassing). ask charles and see if he tells you.

10) me falling off the bed and knocking my head twice, first on the wall, then on something hard i left on the ground. and i fell off because some female smelly indian (i won't name names here) decided to poke me just because i sang the matching hoodie song. tsktsktsk.

all in all, the trip was great.

i got to know new people from the other classes..
i got closer to some of the friends i already had..
i gained a new title - "fag magnet"..
i learnt how to be more responsible..
i picked up tons of bargains, including my new favourite t-shirt :D..
i have learnt how to appreciate my friends more..
i realised that i might enjoy myself overseas a lot, but singapore will always be my home..

and most importantly.
i now know that some people really DO care for me.
and i do care for them too.

you should know who you are.

memories..

2005-11-25T09:09:00.000-08:00

been a long time since i last blogged..hahha lazy lazy me..

anyway it seems that currently, everywhere i go, i hear "hung up" by madonna. i dun hate the woman, but i think the song absolutely sux. apologies to the many ppl i know who absolutely adore this song (haven't come across someone who hates it as much as i do), but really, i just can't stand the song, and unlike mould, NO it's not gonna grow on me. i just miss the madonna of old, who released better songs like "like a virgin", "take a bow", "crazy for you", among others. and in recent years, she's just turned to producing crap like "music" and "hung up". and the lyrics for "hung up" are absolutely ridiculous. serious, any primary school kid studying english could come up wif lyrics like that.

as such, i've decided to "write" a song for madonna sung to the tune of "hung up"!! here goes..

time goes by so slowly...
time goes by so slowly...
time goes by so slowly...
time goes by so slowly...
time goes by so slowly...

every little thing that you say or do
i'm fed up
i'm fed up with you
hearing your shit songs every night and day
just shut up
just shut your trap won't you

time goes by so slowly when i hear that song
it seems so bloody long
everyone seems to think it's well done
i'm caught up
i don't know what to do

every little thing that you say or do
i'm fed up
i'm fed up with you
hearing your shit songs every night and day
just shut up
just shut your trap won't you

repeat 563879320740182X till someone whacks you on your head.

2005-11-11T10:00:00.000-08:00

bored. urgh very bored. call my friends? ha somehow in the holidays i feel SOOO anti-social. not by choice of course, but well some reasons that those of you who know me well enough should know.

bored. urgh even maggie seems to know im bored. she's just looking at me with those eyes and asking me to carry her. she never does do that normally. so i pick her up, stroke her head, pull her tail, and give her a kiss. ha her tail's wagging vigorously now. prob the only living female ever to be happy after being kissed by ME. haha

bored. just listening to class 95 and my mp3s over and over again. i think "jessie" by joshua kadison is SOOOOOOOO good. at the time of typing, its probably my 4th straight time listening to it.

ah but at least im going out tonight!! yay!! to watch daryl and amos perform at cine. and maybe watch sky high. heard so much about how its mindless fun..so yar sounds like the type for me!

less than one month to boston!!! yay can't wait...

bored.

alone again, naturally

2005-11-03T17:56:00.000-08:00

just re-read my last post. whoa what a huge impact the rejection had on me. i wish i could just lie to myself and go "it don't matter much" or "i didn't want it that badly ANYWAY", but i can't. i know i really wanted it and i know i did all i bloody could to get there. but anyway, the past cannot be undone and life goes on. besides, the disappointment is gradually fading and i'm already quite alright with it.

anyways, i feel pretty bored these days. how strange it is, just a few weeks back i could not wait for the hols to come, now that it IS here, i can't wait to be back in school, back wif all my friends.

bah. im really bored.

and i went to watch the movie "dreamship surprise" on tuesday ALONE. cos my mum suddenly wanted to watch sympathy for lady vengeance and i had nothing to do. so yar decided to watch this german comedy. expectations were low going into the cinema, but oh what a show it turned out to be!! i throughly enjoyed myself and i laughed like a total madman. the movie was like a combination of star wars, dude where's my car and austin powers. that should give you a good idea of what the show's like. should also give you a very good idea why i loved it.

the movie was about three gay guys being called upon to save the world by travelling back in time to stop earthlings from discovering a martian spaceship that crashed in nevada, USA. ok, the plot is dumb and irrelevant, but from the start, its star wars spoof galore!!! and very austin powers-ish humour which really had in stitches.

ok, so the comedy was great. but i think the love scene was CRAP. no, not the love scene in the movie. there was this couple who were erm, very much in touch with each other, if u know what i mean...ok fine. they were making out. LOUDLY. occasional giggles and erm, agreeing noises, again if u know what i mean.. punctuated the pre-movie trailers. thankfully, they stopped just when the movie started.

seriously, i think making out in cinemas, especially when there's someone right next to the "action" is quite irritating. i mean, the occasional kiss or hug is fine by me, but loud noises? that really puts me off. and if you ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO, please at least like go to a quiet corner, not right next to ME!!! irritating horny fools. was tempted to like say "go get a room" but then the following might have happened...

Me: "tsktsk, go get a room lar please.."
horny guy: "who are you? room what room? i send you go hospital room ar!" [punch]

yes. i've since learned from previous experiences to keep my mouth shut sometimes.

and now i gtg prepare for OP. argh don't we all hate pw.

2005-10-25T21:23:00.000-07:00

know what it feels like when you're so close to getting what you've longed for and then just when u can feel it, right there, in your fingers ------it gets pulled away from you in one sudden, swift, brutal, cruel movement?

i know.

know what it feels like when it gets pulled away from you even though you did all you could to get it?

i know.

know what it feels like when it gets pulled away even when you did EVERYTHING right?

i know.

NOW know what it feels like when things get pulled away not once, not twice, but many times?

i KNOW.

KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE WHEN NOTHING GOES YOUR WAY FOR DAMN LONG?

I KNOW.

and it hurts, it really does.

but me being me, i'll smile. i promise i will. and for the few, the very few who actually give a shit about whether i live or die, i promise i'll get over this.

rejection. for what feels like the 1000000th damn time. sick of it.

what have i achieved in rj? NOTHING. did nothing, got bad grades, achieved nothing. i stayed true to myself, but wat do i get in the end? a BIG FAT ZERO staring at me wherever i go. no one appreciates me for who i am, all they look at is grades grades grades. IS THAT ALL THAT MATTERS?

it hurts. i hurt.

2005-10-23T16:17:00.000-07:00

so hahhaa my econs was not as bad as i thought it would be..i got a D!!! not bad at all..

had open house two days ago, and floorball tournament yesterday.

open house was really quite tiring..brought four rg girls around the whole of rj and yar they were not exactly very enthusiastic..ok they were dam boring.

me: "so where would you like to go now?"
girl 1: "erm" [looks at girl 2,3,4]
girls 2,3,4: [whisper to each other, giggle, and then stay silent and look at me]

after like five seconds of very awkward silence where they just stare at me, i finally suggest going to the library, where i met JOVIAN!! hahahaha he was like sniggering away for some reason. and btw, jovian i think u look really smart wif the tie on. just an observation.

and at the end of the tour, my legs were GONE. so dam tiring. helped around wif yowie after my shift ended and that was it. anyway i think open house was organised quite well and things pretty much did go to plan. good work council!!

yesterday's floorball tournament was VERY VERY FUN. ha a pretty mixed performance from me...i scored the fastest goal of the tournament (must haf been under 10 sec after the match started) and i also got myself sent off by the referee for sliding in an attempt to intercept a pass. the combined arts team (stallone, daniel chen, akesh, yee ler, bhavan, just, eric, glen ang, han ting, nick chiu and me) did not do well at all though we did give our best. we lost 2-1 to some team, and drew 2-2 wif two other teams. but i scored!! haha and therefore its some sort of consolation for us not making it through to the semi-finals.

tmr shud be an interesting day. gtg to do stupid pw now.

2005-10-17T21:30:00.000-07:00

been a long while since i last blogged. first it was the promos, then post-promos i just embarked on this playing spree. pro evoluton soccer, knights of the old republic 2, football manager 2005, nba live 2005, nhl 2005 blarblar basically a LOT of games.

i am crossing my fingers now.

still crossing, going through possible scenarios that could happen tomorrow.

Scenario 1:
Miss Lee: eddy ah, not bad lar this time at least u got a C!!
me: oh my #$^&#*^(#&(# are u SERIOUS?!?!?!?!
Miss Lee: REALLY!! don't believe u see lor!
me: [snatches script back, sees the "C", celebrates by dancing with a chair]

ok..that was the ideal scenario. although that happening is about as likely as yam becoming SLIM. then again.........................hhahahahahhahaha NVM. the next scenario is far more likely though.

Scenario 2:
Miss Lee: eddy ah, do u mind take THREE 'A' level subjects?

yup. far more likely. serves me right i guess, can't really expect to suddenly do well cos i've put in all of 2,3 weeks of work.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

anyway last wednesday was my OGL interview. interviewed by yowie, junli and xinling (if that's how u spell their names) and it was...very funny, though it was quite difficult. i guess i started the interview off on the wrong foot.

one of them: why do u want to become an OGL?
me: WOW i so did NOT expect that question, AT ALL..hahaha

yar, u see what i mean? my sarcasm really set the tone of the interview.

later on, i wud be asked to tell lame jokes ENTHUSIASTICALLY to the wall.

me: "HI MR. WALL!!!! why do PEOPLE love hanging out wif MUSHROOMS??"
xinling: "why?"
me: "cos mushrooms are fungis!!!!!!!!!! [fun guys]"

yupyupp i know its a bad joke, plus a really over-used one, but my mind was in a mess and i cudn't think of which lame joke to tell. too many lar.

the worst was yet to come. i was to dance with a chair. like WHATTTTTTT?????? everyone who's seen me "dance" (dun even know if u cud call those erm...MOVEMENTS a dance) before, will agree that my dancing is so bad, its worse than my MATH. and trust me, that says a lot.

basically, i made a fool of myself. and now i feel dam embarrassed whenever i walk past yowie/junli/xinling..ha i hope they'll like forget about it soon enuff..

anyways promo results so far have been not too good, not too bad for me.
Lit: C
Hist: C
GP: A2
Math: ? (99% sure it's an F)
Econs: ? (pray i get D at least)

but regardless of the above, im PROMOTED!!!!!!!!!!!! YESSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

gtg now to watch "stairway to heaven" bye

2005-09-22T22:58:00.000-07:00

WHY???!?!?!?!?!??!!?

guinness are DUMBBBB. below is an e-mail from them in reply to my fantastic proposal of a new world record attempt.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Reference: WC137554
Membership Number: 133814

Dear Mr Hirono

Thank you for your enquiry regarding your intention to attempt the record for 'Most number of crutch-hops on the spot'. This is not of interest, but we suggest instead that you attempt our existing record for 'Fastest 100 m on crutches'.
There is not currently a record in this category. However, you may wish to check with us again prior to making an attempt to be sure that a new record has not been accepted in the interim. We have attached our specific guidelines for this category which details the requirements you must follow to make your attempt. You should ensure that all those participating and those witnessing the attempt are aware of the contents of these guidelines. We would also draw your attention to the specific authentication we require when you come to make your claim for this category. This is in addition to the general authentication requirements as detailed in the Record Breakers Pack you already have.

Once the record has been attempted and you have compiled your claim and completed the Agreement Regarding Supporting Materials (included in the Record Breakers Pack), all the information should be sent to us here at:GUINNESS WORLD RECORDS338 EUSTON ROADLONDON NW1 3BDUNITED KINGDOMOnce the record has been attempted and you have compiled your claim and completed the standard record agreement form, they should be sent to us here at: GUINNESS WORLD RECORDS, 338 EUSTON ROAD, LONDON NW1 3BD, UNITED KINGDOM

Once you know the exact date on which you'll be attempting your record, please let us know by visiting the TRACKING section of our website. Simply follow this link - http://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/tracking - and enter your membership ID and password. You will then be able to alter the date of your attempt and confirm it by ticking the checkbox. Should you not have online access you can always contact us by post, or telephone, quoting the appropriate membership numbers.

Please ensure that your Reference WC number (above) is clearly marked on your package and all documentation.

If you should require any further information, please do not hesitate to get in contact with us. Otherwise, we hope the attempt goes well and look forward to hearing from you in the future.

Yours sincerely,
Scott Christie
Records Research Services
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WTF..my dreams shattered. just like that.

2005-09-20T20:09:00.000-07:00

yam posted the following on the class blog, and i took up the challenge..

1) Reply with your name and I'll respond with something random about you.
2) I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3) I'll pick a dream occupation that i think you will love
4) I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5) I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6) I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7) I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8) I'll tell you something that I've always wanted to but some how never did.
9) I'll tell you my favourite memory of you.
10) If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. You MUST. It is written!

SO HERE IS WHAT YAM WROTE ABOUT ME.

1) My mum actually thinks you are good looking
2) Song: Happy by The Rolling Stones, read the lyrics, I seriously believe they sound just like you. Movie: Dude, Where's My Car. Pretty obvious why.
3) Arsenal star striker.
4) Still remember, "genetic engineering is prostitution?"
5) I recall watching you play during inter-class soccer, thinking, who the fuck is the half-insane moron clattering people?
6) Monkey. Duh.
7) How was it like having a crush?
8) I honestly think that what you're doing about certain people is actually very admirable. Stupid. But admirable.
9) Hmm... I still recall being full of trepidation and shit like that when first entering oneE, then I recall you saying "let insecticides be insecticides", and boom, suddenly the whole place felt so much more relaxed. Most likely that one.

ha. pretty much wat i wud haf written about myself actually. ESPECIALLY "dude, where's my car", "monkey" and "arsenal star striker".

and then this from roland.

1) you make bad jokes.
2) song: the white stripes - we are going to be friends. because it's so cheerful and carefree. movie: pooh's heffalump movie because you look like winnie the pooh. and it's cheerful and carefree too.
3) reserve team in arsenal. i doubt you can complain.
4) digging noses and 8 golden kiwi fruits.
5) i thought i saw you somewhere in ri before the first day you were in 1e.
6) a monkey. mischievous.
7) how the hell do you think up such bad jokes?!
8) ~~i love you.~~ ok i think we have good taste in music. mwahaha.
9) ~~the night we spent together on the beach..~~when you self-jacked (no, not the one that all you pervs are thinking of) in front of a certain someone. that was a LOL moment.

wtf roland. my jokes are GOOD. right im kidding myself. what do u call fake shit?
SHAM-POO!!! hurhurhur not funny.

then there's shibryani murtabak aka shibani mahtani

1. you are lame. Extremely. And yes you are full of shit, too
2. song- craig david- a world filled with love. Though it annoys me, but not that you do. Haha. Movie- Charlie and the chocolate factory! Some very eddy-ish level of humour. And if im not wrong, the first and only movie I watched with you
3. sports commentator!
4. imagine the reaction of my mum's boss if the guiness people fax a reply to my mum's office. Haha
5. I remember thinking, omg way cool this guy is half jap! and when shiyun drew the lame club sign on your hand. I cant think of anyone who could fit that symbol better
6. monkey, as the other two said
7. seriously, how can anyone make that many corny puns and retarded jokes?!
8. I admire you a lot. Haha (:
9. the note you wrote when I left 1e. touching. And a permanent memory too.(since its in writing) Plus all the countless nice msn convos (:

thanx..im melting now..awwwwwwwwwww..hahaha very touched. thanx shib.

2005-09-18T19:25:00.000-07:00

koped this from the class blog cos its really quite hilarious. here goes..

First, write down the names of twenty people you know. Then read and answer the questions.You can't look at the questions until you write down the twenty names you're going to use.

1) yam
2) jon
3) roland
4) jovian
5) abel
6) sean
7) alps
8) zan
9) ying
10) shiyun
11) cheryl
12) weiqi
13) charis
14) wei
15) zhihui
16) rushan
17) wendy
18) elaine
19) mavis
20) shib

1. Is #9 a boy or a girl? girl
2. Would u consider #11 and #2 a cute couple? ERM. hmm very debatable leh. i guess yes?
3. How about #18 and #4? erm...no
4. What grade is #17 in? we're all in J1
5. When was the last time you talked to #12? wow LONG LONG time. online about a few days ago.
6. What is #6's favorite band? gawd im stumped. erm...prob some band ive neva heard of.
7. Does #1 have any siblings? YES. a rather cute sister who is rather imcomprehensible, unfortunately. and a younger brother who is as erm... chunky as he is.
8. Would you ever date #3? HMM. HAHAHHAHAHAHAAHA erm lets just leave it at that.
9. Would you ever date #7? no im not into gay sex..WAIT. oops, lets just leave it at that.
10. Is #16 single? wah..no idea at all.
11. What's #15's last name? lee
12. What's #10's middle name? auntie.
13. What's #5's favorite thing to do? "flying" to the toilet and back
14. Is #13 hot? i dunno. ill hafta ask her whether her aircon is on.
15. Would #14 and #19 make a good couple? friends hell YES. but couple..erm...dun think theyre lesbians
16. What school does #20 go to? we all go to rjc
17. Tell me a random fact about #11? she likes to poke her dimples.
18. And #1: he is FAT. and he's a good 5kg or more heavier than me
19. And #4: he is VULGAR. and his command of hokkien ~~vulgarities~~ words is beyond compare.
20. Have you ever had a crush on #15? hahahahahaa NO.
21. Where does #9 live? wow i dunno.
22. What's #3 favorite color? black? i dunno.
23. Would you makeout with #14? ok. i apologise to the readers for that horrible image swimming in ur heads now. NO
24. Are #5 & #12 best friends? not quite i guess.
25. Does #7 like #2? YES
26. Does #8 like #19? i think so
27. How did you meet #2? first day of term 2 in rjc
28. How did you meet #18? ditto
29. Does #10 have any pets? i dun think so.
30. Is #12 older than you? i dun think so
31. Is #17 the sexiest person alive, or what? i apologise, but i am of the opinion that she isn't, that wud HAFTA be me.

tada. random, but really fun, for me at least. ha

2005-09-14T21:06:00.000-07:00

hilarious. absolutely hilarious. yam just sent me some shit which is dam hilarious. read on.

Powergen, the UK's leading integrated gas and electricity company, supposedly picked a rather unfortunate domain name for the web site of their Italian subsidiary, Powergen, that sounded like a shopping place for persons looking to purchase industrial-strength vibrators: powergenitalia.com.

The Mole Station Native Nursery in New South Wales, Australia, opted for a domain name that unfortunately carries connotations of being a breeding ground for pedophiles: molestationnursery.com.

and to cap it off,http://web.archive.org/web/20021207090310/www.nice-tits.org/types.html. its freekin hilarious that a bird-watching society has a stupid url like www.nice-tits.org

have a good laugh. bye

2005-09-13T21:46:00.000-07:00

math lecture today was hahahahahhaa really dumb. i came up with my best one-liner for 2005 right there in those plastic green seats of lt 3 listening to joanne lui rattle on about "dee wai dee ex".

Scene: LT 3 Math Lecture
Cast: Eddy Hirono, Miss Joanne Lui

Miss Lui: You see right, differentiation is like peeling an onion...[points to some onion-shaped drawing on the transparency]
Me: [interrupts] YES!!! it makes you CRYYYY!!!!
Miss Lui: it's like you peel the layers off one by one.............
[exeunt]

moral of the story? that if at first you don't come up wif a good joke, try and try again (while incurring the wrath of the whole class), till u come up wif a good one! hahah so proud of myself.

anyway this brings me to the more serious bit of this entry. what am i gonna do after i graduate from university? assuming i make it to one.

yam and i always do this "predict wat our classmates are gonna be in future", for example, we think abel's gonna be a civil servant, zan a lawyer, alps some corporate highflier and jon some gp teacher in rjc. WAIT. isn't he already....NVM hahahaha if u dun get it, ur not supposed to

and i came up wif this possibility for myself. im gonna disappear for a long while, and one day when yam or someone else walks into borders looking for FHM or another one of those "intellectual" reads, he's gonna chance upon a stack of books with gay purple covers and emblazoned across the cover, in gold lettering...."THE ULTIMATE JOKE-BOOK VOLUME 243"....and in small lettering below "Eddy Hirono". then, yam will be so surprised, that he'll flip open the cover and see...

PRICE: $34.95
SPECIAL OFFER: $17.90
MEGA CLEAR-OUT SALE: $5.90
COMES ABSOLUTELY FREE WITH PURCHASE OF "THE ULTIMATE JOKE-BOOK VOLUME 242!!!"

hahaha i really hope i DO NOT end up like THAT. not that i dun wanna write joke books, but if i do, i want them to sell out real quick.

but seriously, my options are limited, and i dunno wat im gonna do in future. wat im interested in seems to be out of reach. journalist? MAYBE. but my writing's nowhere near good enuff. comedian? not funny enuff..plus comedians in singapore who are successful are predominantly chinese comedians, and my chinese SUX. and my dream job, being a tv presenter/match analyst on ESPN Star Sports? well. i've got tons of knowledge on the english premier league, and i sure have the interest but let's just say that they seem to only be interested in you if you're british. think john dykes, andy penders, paul masefield, PJ Roberts, and that dasey guy. and i happen to be NOT british. just half japanese, a quarter chinese, an eighth malay, an eighth thai. PLUS, i dun look as presentable as they do. PLUS, i'm not as fluent as they are when presenting on screen. PLUS, i'd be SOOOOO tempted to slip in jokes during the analysis, like making fun of players' names and stuff, which would really irritate viewers, so this is a no-no too. counsellor/psychologist? though i really wanna be one, it seems IMPOSSIBLE as im not serious enuff, and my life is a mess, how to advise others?!?!

THERE! all my dream jobs. out of reach. too far. should stop dreaming, and start mugging, so that i can get some crapass scholarship which bonds me to some crapass organisation and i get paid to do some job that i really don't want. like i dunno...teach? hahaha possible that i become like a primary school english teacher..and corrupt the young minds of the children..actually not a bad idea at all!! i cud ask to be posted to acs (p) and then i can take REVENGE. [evil laffter]

BUT. im not gonna get to university if i just blog about what i'm gonna do in future. so i shud go mug now.

2005-09-11T12:14:00.000-07:00

before u read on, please take a moment to remember those who perished in the 911 attacks 4 years ago on this very day.

anyway, arsenal went down to middlesbrough last night in a shock 2-1 defeat, goals coming from maccarone, yakubu and reyes. shocking, abysmal, dismal, unfathomable, lacklustre..the list goes on. the only real positive is probably the form of reyes. he was a constant threat, and if his finishing can improve just slightly, he'll be a key player in our title challenge this season. and i firmly believe that arsenal still do have an outside chance of snatching the title back from abramoRICH and his chelski.

and for a laff, please check out http://69.93.40.114/~today123/audio/giftjose.wma. thanx roland for sending it to me!! its a really good impersonation of jose mourinho and his chelski players, complete with a "song" entitled "jose and his amazing technicolour overcoat". its DAM FUNNY.

i was looking through my "beatles' no. 1s" cd today, and i saw something really funny. as the cd is imported from china, the english song titles come wif chinese translations next to them. so i was looking thru the chinese titles when i saw "you4 chang2 you4 da4 feng1 de4 lu4", which translated into english is the "long and windy road". and then i looked at the english title, and i almost laffed my ass off, cos it was actually "the long and winding road"!! WTF chinese translators are fantastic. actually, it's not just the chinese. i rmb when i was 10, i went to Japan to visit my grandfather in hospital as he was critically ill. on the way to the hospital, my dad brought me into a cafe by the road, the only one in the area with a menu in english, so i could order too. the menu turned out to be quite a laugh. One could order "FLESH JUICE", "SAUSAGEES", "HAMU and EGGS", and "WAFFURU sarved with strawberry sauce". hahhaa for those who can't figure out what the above items were, its "fresh juice", "sausages", "ham and eggs" and "waffle served with strawberry sauce". hilarious.

actually, i shouldn't really be making fun of their english when my proficiency in the japanese language is VERY VERY laughable too. yam-san no manko totemo okii desu!!! ok that didnt make sense. sorry yam.

tata till next time.

the toilet saga

2005-09-08T22:14:00.000-07:00

this rocks. one day after i say ill try to keep my mouth shut, i use it again in a not-very-nice way.

Scene: KFC (Toa Payoh HDB Hub)
Cast: Eddy Hirono, KFC auntie in cubicle, lets just call her See Bei Lao

[Eddy walks to the cubicle door (only one toilet for both sexes) and pulls. Door doesn't budge. Thinking he has to push it, Eddy pushes door forward]

See Bei Lao: "La yi ci jiu hao le lar, la na me duo ci!! KNN" (english translation: can't u just pull once instead of pulling so many times!! hokkien vulgarity)

Eddy: [pissed (as in, angry, not urinated..can't urinate when the stupid auntie still inside)] "wo la men, ni la du zi la!!" (english translation: I pull door, u have diarrhoea!!)

See Bei Lao: KNN!! (hokkien vulgarity again.)

[Eddy fears the person behind the door could be a serial killer/hitwoman/pro wrestler/anyone who cud possibly hurt him and flees back to his table and his two crispy breasts.]

[auntie walks out of cubicle and looks around for the person who just shouted at her. auntie walks away looking puzzled and furious.]

[exeunt]

as u can see, i didnt really try very hard to keep my mouth shut today. and had i not fled back to the safety of my table and continued eating my chicken innocently, i might have been i dunno...choked to death by a roll of toilet paper stuffed down my throat by the auntie? who looks like she is permanently pms-ing by the way.

so i promise ill TRY to shut that trap of mine.

gtg sleep now.

FINALLY..a new blog.

2005-09-07T23:14:00.000-07:00

yay!! my blog is finally done so i can start with my first real post..

watched "red eye" on monday wif my mum and my cousin and his wife and i hafta say that the movie was kinda predictable, but i think the presence of rachel mcadams made a world of a difference. she is dam pretty!!! yups but anyways, after the movie we took the lift down to the carpark, and in the lift was this malay cleaner with a bucket of dirty water. He wore overalls that had "S.M.S" stitched onto the left breast. The following conversation took place in the lift under the watchful eye of the cleaner.

Mum: "eh wat do u think SMS stands for ar?"
Me: [shrug]
Mum: "cud it be like simon's maintenance services?"
Me: "hahaha more like short malay servant lar hahahaha"

At this moment, the cleaner looked at me, then my mum, then my cousin, then his wife. i wasnt sure if he understood wat i said or even heard it..and i didnt wanna find out. thankfully we reached b2 and the door opened. unsurprisingly, i was the first to bolt out of the lift.

sigh. i really need to learn to shut my trap at appropriate times. how many times haf i landed/almost landed in trouble because of my mouth? i still rmb the days back in acs primary (life sucked then) when i was often punished either for talking out of turn or for vulgar language or for trying to be too cheeky. well in p4, this guy called samuel kwok (samuel, if ur reading this. SCREW U.)went to the teacher and said...

"TEACHER!!! EDDY USED THE F-WORD!!!"

that short statement led to the teacher punishing me. she asked me to bring a bottle of Listerine to class the next day and rinse my mouth with it, cos i had a "foul mouth". wtf. those were the best-forgotten days in acs, where i got into all sorts of trouble. numerous "foul mouth" incidents, the occasional show of defiance to the teacher, not to forget running away from home/school and getting the police searching high and low for me while i was in a stranger's house crying like a madman. right, best-forgotten as i said.

from today onwards, im gonna try and curb that mouth of mine. TRY.

till the next entry.

FIRST POST!!!

2005-09-06T07:24:00.000-07:00

yaaaayyy first post..though i dun think anyone is reading this at all..hahaha

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