know what it feels like when you're so close to getting what you've longed for and then just when u can feel it, right there, in your fingers ------it gets pulled away from you in one sudden, swift, brutal, cruel movement?

i know.

know what it feels like when it gets pulled away from you even though you did all you could to get it?

i know.

know what it feels like when it gets pulled away even when you did EVERYTHING right?

i know.

NOW know what it feels like when things get pulled away not once, not twice, but many times?

i KNOW.

KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE WHEN NOTHING GOES YOUR WAY FOR DAMN LONG?

I KNOW.

and it hurts, it really does.

but me being me, i'll smile. i promise i will. and for the few, the very few who actually give a shit about whether i live or die, i promise i'll get over this.

rejection. for what feels like the 1000000th damn time. sick of it.

what have i achieved in rj? NOTHING. did nothing, got bad grades, achieved nothing. i stayed true to myself, but wat do i get in the end? a BIG FAT ZERO staring at me wherever i go. no one appreciates me for who i am, all they look at is grades grades grades. IS THAT ALL THAT MATTERS?

it hurts. i hurt.